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Coaches & Texting - What Do You Think?


OldSchoolLion

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Below is a perspective concerning the topic.  http://athleticmanagement.com/content/benefits-texting  Mine is below.  Am sharing all to generate discussion, not simply to hear myself talk.  Chime in whether you agree or disagree with these positions.

I am not in favor of teachers and coaches communicating with high school students and athletes via 2-way texting.  No doubt there are benefits, but I think the risks far outweigh them.  There is simply too much opportunity for exploitation on numerous fronts.   If something is that terribly important to communicate, I should call their home.  Is it really the end of the world if the bus is running late and a kid does not have an up-to-the-minute update?

Somehow we managed just fine without texting in the past.  The author mentions texting an athlete about drills "after hours."  Since when is practice not good enough anymore?  I never had the balls to call a kid's home to talk to him about football outside school.  I would have considered that an invasion of the entire family's privacy, including the child's.  Just because a kid likes a coach texting him at 10pm in the evening, that does not mean it is appropriate or even good for the kid.  

Just as our lives can get out of balance if we are responding to texts and emails outside of work, the same can happen to a child.  All of us need time to disconnect.  HS football is not so important that I need to be talking about it on my iphone with my athletes outside of practice.   So now we need to go out of our way to reach kids.  To some extent, I agree.   However, kids also need to learn that there are appropriate forums for certain types of communication.  If there are discussions about football, the kid has all day at school and practice to do so.  Practice and games are times for praise.  Don't fault me for not liking your latest video highlight.

IMO, texting for kids should involve friends and parents.  I am neither.  We are not paid to be friends with kids.  That is not to say we cannot act in a friendly manner and build great trust and rapport.  Yes, it might be easier to "reach" a kid by texting because that is his realm.  But it's a 2-way street.  Like I tell kids, there is only one thing the earth revolves around, and it isn't you.  Us old folks need to get with the times and learn the technology.  That can be uncomfortable for us.  And kids need to learn that there are boundaries to communication, and texting is inappropriate, at times. Texting IMO has become a self-created "necessity," not a real one...driven by insecurities(the need for constant recognition) and impatience(I need to know now).

 

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I'm guessing there aren't too many players on this board; I would curious what their response would be. 

As a parent, I don't have a problem with coaches and teachers texting my son.  Perhaps I have too much trust/faith in my son.  I feel pretty confident he would come to me and/or my wife if he ever got something inappropriate from a coach or a teacher. 

My son has one teacher (chemistry) that uses text messaging on a regular basis.  And by regular, I mean once or twice a day.  But (as far as I know), he always sends his text messages out to the whole class.  And at the initial parent/teacher night, he allowed/encouraged parents to sign up, which I did.  So, I get constant reminders about homework assignments, quizzes, tests, etc.  My son thinks it's a pain, but I've tried to turn it into a running joke when I ask him if he's done his assignment or prepared for the test (knowing that we both received the same text message). 

Getting back to what I think your primary question/concern is:  I know my son exchanges text messages with his coaches (head coach and position coach).  Mostly it's logistical stuff, reminders and an occasional motivational message.   Some are part of group texts, but a few are individual text messages.  Knowing how many times my fairly-responsible teenage son has forgotten to make his bed, clean up his room, take out the garbage and recycling, etc., I'm OK with coaches sending out reminder text messages.  I understand your point about boundaries, but it's not like the coaches are stopping off at our house late at night. 

Just one dad's perspective. 

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remind, not a sms.

remind can be set to 1 way message the players.  having the kids reply to text is setting up a dangerous situation, in my opnion.  

remind is good because of the 1 way part, dole out the information to everyone and be done.  now if kids have questions, idk what to say, or if they need to let you know something, im not sure about that either.

teachers texting my kid, i dont think I would be a big fan of that.

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I’m a teacher and a coach. I use Remind and leave the two-way option on because I don’t answer my email after I leave work. Sometimes kids have a quick question so I am able to respond and that’s that. I don’t use it to just “chat” with my students. Same with my players. We have a Remind group and it is just a way to keep everyone organized. I have the two-way feature on but don’t use it just to chat. 

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6 hours ago, Perspective said:

I'm guessing there aren't too many players on this board; I would curious what their response would be. 

Perhaps I have too much trust/faith in my son.  I feel pretty confident he would come to me and/or my wife if he ever got something inappropriate from a coach or a teacher. 

My son has one teacher (chemistry) that uses text messaging on a regular basis.  And by regular, I mean once or twice a day. 

 

I also think it would be very interesting to hear from the kids. 

I wonder how well our teenagers are able to discern "appropriate/inappropriate" with regards to recruiting?  Do we train the kids on the subtleties and tell them to immediately report "inappropriate" texts/conversations?

Imagine if one day every coach and every teacher is sending texts like the chemistry teacher, even something as innocent as reminders.  That is what scares me...overload...not to mention a possible hesitancy of a kid to tell an adult "stop,"   

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This is ridiculous. Texting your players is fine. I've done it for years....i'm not an idiot and/or a weirdo though so I have no desire to send my kids inappropriate material. What it all boils down to is don't be a complete moron and just have a normal relationship with your players....bottom line. Remind is good if you're trying to send a message out to a large group. 

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24 minutes ago, NewEraFball said:

This is ridiculous. Texting your players is fine. I've done it for years....i'm not an idiot and/or a weirdo though so I have no desire to send my kids inappropriate material. What it all boils down to is don't be a complete moron and just have a normal relationship with your players....bottom line. Remind is good if you're trying to send a message out to a large group. 

Thanks for the response.  "Normal" is a very subjective word, isn't it.  I think that is what we struggle with today...vastly different ideas about it.  

As an AD or principal, I would be OK with a HC telling me that "texting is fine."  The problem I see is that there is sometimes little accountability when boundaries get crossed/rules get broken.  The "I don't have time to monitor what my people are doing" card gets thrown.  Have experienced it first hand, sir.  

When somebody who works for me says "no problem," I give them plenty of rope...to operate freely or hang themselves.  I am responsible for my reports and ultimately accountable for their behavior, which reflects on me and could ultimately cost me my job.  For that reason, I have every right and responsibility to question their texting behavior, especially when there are multiple examples out there of coaches using this technology inappropriately.  

It is ridiculous we should even have to have this discussion, right?  Unfortunately, adults often don't act like adults, forcing the issue.

    

 

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3 hours ago, NewEraFball said:

This is ridiculous. Texting your players is fine. I've done it for years....i'm not an idiot and/or a weirdo though so I have no desire to send my kids inappropriate material. What it all boils down to is don't be a complete moron and just have a normal relationship with your players....bottom line. Remind is good if you're trying to send a message out to a large group. 

i actually think it may be against the teacher code of ethics/conduct to have out of school un monitored communications with students.  if that is the case, I really dont know, could get fired if a parent didnt like it and took it to the powers that be.  

just saying

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Here is an interesting article concerning this topic.  Would be interesting to know if there are different "standards" to which folks are held, ie teachers vs coaches.     

https://www.northjersey.com/story/news/2018/09/07/teacher-student-texting-grows-but-worries-remain-new-jersey-education/1201462002/

Text messages have emerged as key evidence in the lawsuit filed in April accusing Bergen Catholic wresting coach David Bell of sex abuse, sexual harassment and sexual assault. In a period of four months in 2016, Bell had sent 94 text messages to student Anthony “Tony” Asatrian, then 16, including expressions of affection and heart emojis.

A Superior Court judge dismissed all but two of the charges last month, but refused to dismiss two elements of the case — that he suffered emotional distress as a result of what he claims to be unwanted sexual advances and texts by his coach, and that Bergen Catholic reportedly undermined his efforts to transfer to two other Catholic high schools.

 

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