Boy, you funny as hell. A warning to the makers of Melatonin? Hell, they should be sending me a thank-you card and a case of pills. I got grown men out here admitting my posts knock ‘em out colder than grandma’s cough syrup. That’s a public service, detective. I might start charging by the paragraph. And now you counting my words like a jealous ex counting my phone minutes? 30,000 words? Man, if I was writing that much I’d be on my third divorce and my fourth stripper by now. I just type what needs saying. Speaking of Wendy’s… yeah, after my shift I do swing by sometimes. I get me a Dave’s Double and a big ol’ Frosty — extra chocolate, just like Neutral Observer used to love. That man would put away a Frosty like it was his full-time job. Every time I take that first spoonful I think about him and shake my head. At least the Frosty tastes better than most of your arguments. But while you busy cracking weak jokes and handing out sleep-aid trophies, SB 538 still doing exactly what I said: letting rich boosters turn high school football into their personal country club. You can keep laughing, but that ain’t changing the scoreboard, son. Now go ahead and hit the lever. Flush another one down the bowl. I’ll be right here with my coffee, my betting slip, and another wild Publix story. Keep sleeping on the truth — clearly it’s working wonders for you.

Thank you for another great compliment, MarkECannon! 

Dan, do you realize that we have passed the 10 year mark since one of the great highlights of your life: When I introduced you to a great restaurant named Red Robin? You're still welcome after all this time! 

A warning to the makers of Melatonin: you now have some competition in the sleep-aid department!  Also, you are getting closer and closer to that 30,000 word mark, i4football! After your shift at Publix, do you ever swing by the Wendy's drive-thru for a Dave's Single, Double, or Triple from our old "friend" Neutral Observer?