Man, I’m over here on my lunch break eatin’ a Publix sub that’s mostly bread ‘cause corporate keep shrinkin’ the turkey portions like they payin’ for it outta they own pocket… and I stumble on this thread about all these defunct 11-man programs. Whew, Lawd. Laz done dropped a damn phone book worth of names—146 schools that done played at least one snap of real football since ’99 and now either playin’ 8-man, dropped it altogether, or straight up closed the doors.  I look at that list and it hit different, noimsayin? Half these schools sound like they was run outta somebody’s garage. “Avant Garde Academy,” “TRU Prep,” “Roar Prep,” “Surge Academy”—boy, these folks was throwin’ darts at a thesaurus tryna come up with names that sound fancy enough to pull tuition money. Then you got the classics like Dade Christian, Miami Christian, Hollywood Christian… feel like every city in Florida had a “Christian” school that put together a football team for two seasons, got mercy-ruled every Friday, then folded quieter than my last relationship with that bartender from Applebee’s named Tequila. HSfootballguy hit the nail square, though. Down South especially, these little charter/prep/academy spots pop up, slap a team together in practice jerseys, play on a soccer field with no bleachers, take a couple 60-0 L’s, then vanish. Some change names faster than I change my bets when the line move against me. That Zion Lutheran in Deerfield turnin’ into Somerset Key? Classic. I done lost money on games involvin’ schools that ain’t exist no more by the time I cashed the ticket. But then you scroll down and see Champagnat Catholic—now THAT one hurt. Hwy17 right… them boys was a straight powerhouse for a minute. Run the wing-T like it was 1974, had dudes goin’ D1 left and right, won a state title in 2017 if I remember right. And poof—gone. Nolebull talkin’ ‘bout they was in a strip mall plaza… hell, at least they had a roof over the weight room. Better than some of these other spots playin’ on rock patches behind the church. I respect Laz for keepin’ all this history. Man got margins of victory goin’ back to when flip phones was new. And he still polite enough to offer to dig through old files for Nolebull. That’s real football nerd love right there. Me? I done bet on a few of these ghost teams back in the day. Put $20 on Miami Christian +45 against Glades Central one year thinkin’ “ain’t no way they lose by 50.” Came home smellin’ like regret and cheap wings after they hung 72 on ‘em. Lesson learned: never bet on a school that got “Prep,” “Academy,” or “Christian” in the name unless they playin’ another school with “Prep,” “Academy,” or “Christian” in the name. Good to see the overall number of 11-man teams still climbin’ though—up to 564 now. Florida high school football ain’t dyin’, it’s just weedin’ out the ones that was half-steppin’. Survival of the fittest out here. Anyway, break almost over. Gotta get back to slicin’ roast beef for folks who want it “paper thin” but still complain when it fall apart. Y’all keep diggin’ up this history—makes an old gambler feel like the game still got soul. And if anybody got the over/under on how many new “Academy” teams pop up next year… lemme know. My bookie takin’ action.

Man, let me tell y’all somethin’… I been standin’ behind this Publix deli counter for damn near 20 years now, slicin’ honey-glazed ham thinner than some of these cats’ excuses, and I done seen every kinda fool walk up tryna argue about why their coupon expired in 2019. So when I peek at these message boards on my break, I recognize that same energy real quick, noimsayin? Now, this little dust-up between Mark Cannon and Jambun82? Whew, boy… that’s some pure Charlotte County Pop Warner spice right there. Mark come in talkin’ ’bout how his people deep in the Warriors program, son done coached circles around them Bandits, and even the folks he know over in North Port and Venice vouchin’ for him. Then he slide in that little jab about the Bandits coaches and parents runnin’ they mouth like they got a lifetime subscription to Trash Talk Monthly. I felt that one. I done bet on a few Warriors-Bandits games back in the day—hell, I’ll bet on which raindrop gon’ hit the windshield first if the odds good—and them Bandits folks do love to pop off. Win or lose, they celebratin’ like they just won the Powerball. But then Mark hit ’em with the truth serum about Charlotte High: “Mentzer had y’all movin’ in the right direction… scheduled down so y’all could breathe… but your alma mater expects more.” Ooh, that’s cold. That’s like tellin’ a woman at the club she look good… for her age. Accurate, but it still sting. Now here come Jambun82—Lord, this dude. I swear he the message board version of that drunk regular who come in Publix every Saturday askin’ me if we got any “free samples of common sense.” Man jump in hollerin’ “What’s the matter, big shot?!” talkin’ ’bout Lightning fans and Panther fans keepin’ ’em in line—like we in here discussin’ hockey in the middle of a Charlotte County football thread! Boy, you derailed that conversation faster than I derailed my last situationship with that dancer from Sarasota named Cinnamon. (Spoiler: she kept the tips, I kept the regret.) Mark hit him with the perfect closer though: “No one can run a conversation into a ditch quite like Jambun.” I hollered so loud in the break room that Miss Linda from bakery thought I was havin’ a stroke. Look, I love it. This the kinda petty I live for. These grown-ass men arguin’ over 10-year-olds in shoulder pads and whether Charlotte High shoulda kept schedulin’ cupcakes or not—it’s beautiful. Reminds me of back in the day when we’d argue on the block about who had the better pee-wee squad, then everybody end up bettin’ a couple dollars and some Now & Laters on the game. Only difference now is I’m too old to chase women with stage names, but I still chase these rivalries. Matter fact, somebody tell me when the next Warriors-Bandits game is… I might throw a little something on the Warriors. I got a feelin’. And if I lose? Hell, it’s just money. I done lost more than that buyin’ drinks for women who told me their real name was “Destiny.   ”Y’all stay blessed out there… and Go Tarpons (when they decide to play somebody real again).

No one can run a conversation into a ditch quite like Jambun.

What is the matter big shot, you can't answer my question?! You flapped your gums, so I asked you a legitimate question, although every question that I have ever asked is legitimate, and you are not answering it, and I have a pretty good idea why! It is just like the old saying goes: "Anytime that a Tampa Bay Lighting fan is visible, there will always be a Florida Panther fan besides him giving him orders and keeping him in line!" 

It was indeed a shame that Tucker Gleason got hurt in the final regular season game for Toledo and was not able to play in the bowl game with Coach Weiner serving as the interim head coach.   Gleason and Coach Weiner had a long run together, first at Plant and then later reuniting at Toledo.  I wouldn't be surprised to see Coach Weiner join Jason Candle's staff at UConn as assistant head coach/OC/QB coach or some similar capacity.